BUILDING STRONGER FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

The law says that it is the quality of time at work that counts and the quantity of time at home that matters. By improving the quality of your work time, concentrating single-mindedly on your highest-value tasks and getting them done quickly and well, you can reduce the time you spend at work and increase the time available for your personal life.
At home, you need long, unbroken periods of time to build and maintain high-quality relationships. Love, affection, and trust building cannot be rushed. The more time you invest in relationships with the important people in your life, the higher quality of life you will have in all areas.
Remember that watching television, reading the newspaper, or working on your computer does not constitute spending time with your loved ones. Interacting, not just spending time in the same place, is what builds relationships.
Deliberately create chunks of time with your loved ones. Create thirty-, sixty-, and ninety-minute blocks of time where you can interact one-on-one and face-to-face. Go shopping and go for walks with your family. Take long drives to a distant restaurant or to a resort with your spouse. And when you drive, leave the radio off. A car with no music playing is one of the greatest mobile communication chambers imaginable. You will be amazed at the wonderful conversations you can have in a quiet car.
Plan vacations in advance. Schedule them completely. Pay for them in full. Make the payments nonrefundable if possible. Then discipline yourself to take the time away, no matter what happens. The times you spend away and on vacation with your loved ones will include the happiest and most important memories of your lives together. Your job is to create as many opportunities for these happy experiences to take place, and for these memories to develop, as you possibly can.
Remember that to do more of one thing, you must do less of another. To spend more time with your loved ones, you must do less of something else.
Before you commit to or engage in any behavior, ask yourself, "What will I have to not do in order to do this?" Compare the value of one activity with the other. Your ability to make good choices about how you spend your time largely determines the quality of your life.

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THE PAST

Sometimes people will say to us when we are grieving, “You must not keep thinking about the past. The past is gone. You have got to focus now on the future.” As well meaning as this advice might be, the advice can be wrong. For reminiscing — recalling events, conversations, occurrences from the past — is one of the important ways that we mourn. In fact, the word mourning in Sanskrit means “to remember.”What is the value of reminiscing?When you reminisce, these memories remind you of the person who were before the loss and can unite that person with the person you are now. In memory we can recognize and recall a self we were earlier in our life. And perhaps some of the qualities of who you were in the past can be very useful to who you are now.Think about a mother who has lost a son. Perhaps when she reminisces she recalls how she helped her son with his science fair projects in middle school. Perhaps she remembers making papier-mâché to create a big globe; perhaps it was a string of Christmas lights she and her son stapled to a piece of poster board to create a system of signals needed in a project explaining how a power plant works. This reminiscing reminds this mother of a person she was in the past, and she might imagine bringing that person into the present. Perhaps she asks, “Could I volunteer in a school in the neighborhood as a way to honor the memory of my son?” Or she might decide to work as a volunteer at a children’s Discovery Museum nearby. By reminiscing she finds a role from her past that she can bring into the present as a way of honoring her son.Professor Pietro Castelnuovo-Tedesco has studied reminiscence at Vanderbilt University. He reminds us that this form of thinking about the past is “one of the principal means by which a person continues to have a relationship with old parts of the self.” Through reminiscing, he says, we are able to maintain an “inventory” of the key images of ourselves from the past and are therefore able to keep “a thread of continuity among them.” (p. 138, Seven Choices)Reminiscing about the past can be serviceable. “Serviceable?” someone might ask. “How can a past we can never return to be serviceable?” Because through reviewing our past accomplishments as well as our failures, we can better set goals for the future. Reminiscing works a bit like trial action. When we remember the values and ideals and dreams we held in the past, these memories can point the way as we think about the future.

DAD SERVED HIS COUNTRY WELL IN WWII

I am from the World War II generation. My youth was in the Great Depression, which tempered all who lived it.The discipline of military service--indeed, the service itself in World War II--had a marked effect on some 14 million Americans who served. . . .Some of our generation had to participate in the Korean War. . . .We sent our sons to Vietnam if our sons wanted to serve. . . .The Vietnam War was the beginning of the sharp divisions in our country between those who served and those who did not or who did not support the war effort. It was during this era that we began to question values that had served us well for generations. Patriotism, to some, meant protest. . . .Our own children, known by some as the Yuppie Generation, were badly split over Vietnam and social mores. . . .Our World War II generation had a large role in the civil rights revolution of the ’60s. Many of the Yuppie Generation participated as well--thus, a joint effort which reached across the two generations. The revolution was momentous in the history of our country. It stands as one of the nation’s highest achievements--a revolution engaged in under law and contained within the law. . . .Our country is passing now into your hands. We call you Generation X, and we wonder what your values will be and what your aspirations will be for our country and for your fellow citizens.Based on my observations of my own grandchildren, I believe that Generation X will be one of our greatest. Your values will increasingly be in the public interest. You will accept the challenge of doing something about the poor public schools and about the 15 percent of our population who live below the poverty level. You are our hope--our highest hope. . . .You have received a good education and are in a better position to serve others than many Americans. I hope that you will adopt the standard of noblesse oblige: To those to whom much is given, of them is much expected. . . .The great Russian writer, Tolstoy, . . . when asked by Russian tribesmen to tell them about President Lincoln, responded, “The reason he was great was his values. Everything that he did was rooted in four great values: humanity and justice, truth and pity.”Truth is important. It is the bedrock of our legal system, and the legal system is the bedrock of our country. . . .Justice is that which is rendered in the legal system. It is the redeeming virtue of our country that no person is above the law and no person is below the law; we are all equal before the law. . . .Humanity and pity are the two other values mentioned by Tolstoy. A strong feeling of humanity would make us ever more attentive to the problems of poverty and education, and to seeing that every American is treated fairly and has a fair chance. Pity is more for the individual basis, but is a mark of decency. . . .Even with its blemishes, ours is a great country--the greatest. I have always said that I am proud to be a Puerto Rican but am proudest of all to be an American.

OBAMA GOES ONLINE: MODERN FIRESIDE CHATS

In an appeal to the tech-savvy public, the White House's Web site opened itself to questions for President Obama's online town hall meeting Thursday.

Obama began taking your questions in an online town hall meeting at 11:30 a.m. ET.

The virtual meeting, a new take on President Franklin Roosevelt's fireside chats, was another sign that Obama is reaching out to online followers as he tries to rally an anxious country in support of his solutions to the economic crisis.
Obama began his address by trying to draw a clear line between what he sees as the political games of Washington and the actual needs of the American people.
"What matters to you and your families and what people here in Washington are focused on are not always" the same, he said, criticizing the winner-loser mindset of the politicians in the nation's capitol.
"This isn't about me, it's about you," he said. "It's about the families whose letters I read every single day, and, for the American people, what's going on is not a game."
After the call for questions closed at 9:30 a.m., more than 90,000 people had submitted more than 104,000 questions for the president. The questions largely focused on the economy but spread across several categories. Online users ranked the questions more than 3.6 million times, according to WhiteHouse.gov.
Obama had promised to answer popular questions from the site.
The idea that a president would want to talk directly to the American people has been around since the days of FDR, but what was new about Obama's online town hall is that it encouraged members of the public to interact with each other, said Julie Moos, director of Poynter Online, a nonprofit journalism site.
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"By allowing [Internet users] not just to submit questions but to see the other questions ... and to rank the questions continues to connect them in the same way that the [Obama] campaign did," Moos said. "And I think that's one of the most innovative things that they're doing."
Flanked by a flat-screen TV and backed by a 100-person audience in the White House's East Room, the president answered text questions and those submitted in video format. Read a CNN blog on the event
Obama answered seven of the most popular online questions, according to a CNN tally. That included a paraphrase of a question asked by several people online: would legalizing marijuana help jumpstart the economy.
The president grinned through his answer: "I don't' know what this says about the online audience," he said, adding: "The answer is, 'No,' I don't think that is a good strategy to grow our economy." iReport.com: Is it time to legalize marijuana?
Other questions -- some of which came from the live audience -- focused primarily on health care, job loss, mortgage payments and energy.
A video question from three bubbly college students was well received by the audience. In it, the young women asked how Obama will make college more affordable and when a national program may start.
Obama said too many college students finish school while drowning in debt. He said a public service program will begin in a matter of weeks.
"If you come out of college with $50,000 worth of debt it's then hard for you to start making a decision about wanting to be a teacher or wanting to go into social work," he said.
In one video question, a woman asked the president if manufacturing jobs that have gone overseas will come back.
No, Obama answered.
America needs to create new jobs "that can't be outsourced," he said. Many of those will be in the renewable energy sector, he said.
During the address, the online community commented on Obama's answers and the format of the town hall. Users could watch streaming video of the question-answer session online at WhiteHouse.gov as well as on CNN.com.
On the social media site Twitter, a user named kfoggy1 wrote: "[I] didn't vote for Obama, but I really like what he is doing with technology. Good for democracy."
A user called BeaconOfLight was less impressed.
"Another chance for Obama to get TV time. Get your glass the 'kool aid' will flow," the user wrote.
A quick survey of the more than 90,000 questions submitted at WhiteHouse.gov revealed an America troubled by the state of the economy and struggling to make ends meet.
The White House asked the public to submit questions only about the economy, but the site divided them into several subcategories.
In education, several popular questions came from people who criticized the state of the nation's educational system, or were having trouble paying off college debt.
"The Founding Fathers believed that there is no difference between a free society and an educated society. Our educational system, however, is woefully inadequate. How do you plan to restore education as a right and core cultural value in America?" asked Takeok, from Boston, Massachusetts.
In the "home ownership" category, several users wrote that they feel they've been making all the right financial moves and still find themselves in turmoil.
"Why aren't you helping the people who want to PREVENT foreclosure?" asked MistyLee, from Providence, Rhode Island.
Some health care submissions questioned why more Americans aren't covered.
Richard from California asked why this nation can't have universal health care like countries in Europe, "where people are treated based on needs, rather than financial resources."
Questions filed under green jobs and energy prodded the president to reconsider ethanol subsidies and asked him to explain how the stimulus plan will affect green jobs and home weatherization.
Larkin, a user from Gaithersburg, Maryland, was one of several people to raise the issue of public transit.
"Will we ever see high-speed passenger rail service in the U.S.?" the user asked.
In the finance category, Web users wanted to know more about why the government couldn't break up large financial institutions into smaller entities.
Adrian, of Collinsville, Illinois, worried about businesses that have survived the economic collapse.
"What rewards are there for those people and businesses that chose to live and operate within their means?" the user asked.
The site began taking questions on Tuesday and stopped on Thursday at 9:30 a.m. ET. The Web service was hosted by Google, but the White House said it will protect user information in accordance with its own privacy guidelines.
Questions asked on the site were made public immediately, the White House said. Users could flag questions they deemed inappropriate.
Moos, of Poynter, said one of the biggest take-aways from the event is that it connected these audiences to the president and a sense that they're part of a valued online community -- an engaged citizenry

GIVING OF YOUR TIME TO A WORTHY CAUSE

Volunteer opportunities are built around what you do and what you need. Whether you are an individual who is looking for a volunteer opportunity, a school or youth group that would like to work together, or a business that is looking to build or add to an already existing employee volunteer program, local Senior Meals locations need your help.
Meals-On-Wheels and other senior meal delivery or non-profit congregate meal programs provide meals to millions of seniors throughout the United States. Through such programs, seniors who could not or would not otherwise eat properly are provided with services that help them live a healthy and enjoyable life.
Volunteers are necessary to any local non-profit senior meal program and you don't have to be a good cook or have a lot of time in order to volunteer. Program volunteers do more than drive from door to door. Volunteers are needed to help prepare and package dinners to be delivered, organize schedules, make phone calls, load delivery vehicles, and deliver meals.
Congregate meal sites need volunteers to plan, cook, drive vans, help serve seniors, clean up, and more.
Perhaps as important as getting meals to seniors is your smiling face and some words of kindness and friendship. Many seniors are lonely and those that assist in meal programs are their only daily contact with other people. Many delivery volunteers take a little time with each senior to visit and provide much needed conversation.
Whether you have only a few hours one day per week, can volunteer every day, or can only work a few hours on a weekend, your assistance is needed.

HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER

By Noel Serrano

Honoring your father and your mother is a most important commandment. It has been said that the fifth commandment is pivotal, for it is between the commandments teaching us to love our Creator, and those admonishing us to love our fellow man.

A Commandment With a Promise

"Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days
may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee," Exodus 20:12.
"Honor thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that
thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which
the LORD thy God giveth thee," Deuteronomy 5:16. "Ye shall fear every man his
mother, and his father . . . ," Leviticus 19:3.

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and thy mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord," Ephesians 6:1-4. "Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged," Colossians 3:20-21.
"My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother," Proverbs 1:8. "A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother," Proverbs 15:20. "Children�s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers," and, "A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him," Proverbs 17:6, 25. "A foolish son is the calamity of his father," and, "He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach," Proverbs 19:13, 26. "Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old," Proverbs 23:22. "Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul," Proverbs 29:17. "For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth," Hebrews 12:6.

Not a Light Thing to Disobey Parents
"Cursed be he that setteth light by his father or his mother. And all the people shall say, Amen," Deuteronomy 27:16. "And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death, . . . And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death," Exodus 21:15, 17. "For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him," Leviticus 20:9. "If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold of him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear," Deuteronomy 21:18-21.
"The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it," Proverbs 30:17. "Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness," Proverbs 20:20.

Without Family Affection
"Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD," Leviticus 19:32. "There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother," Proverbs 30:11. "And I will give children to be their princes, and babes shall rule over them. And the people shall be oppressed, every one by another, and every one by his neighbor: the child shall behave himself proudly against the ancient, and the base against the honorable . . . . As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them," Isaiah 3:4-5, 12. "This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection," II Timothy 3:1-5.
"For God commanded, saying, Honor thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death. But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; And honor not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition," Matthew 15:4-6 (see also Mark 7:10-13). " . . . what shall I do to inherit eternal life? . . . Thou knowest the commandments, . . . Honor thy father and thy mother," Luke 18:18-20.
" . . . There is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of God�s sake, Who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come life everlasting," Luke 18:29-30. "If any man come to me, and hate not [love less by comparison] his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple," Luke 14:26.

TIMES CHANGE, EVEN FOR PRESIDENTIAL CARS

President Barack Obama's new presidential limousine grabbed some headlines this year - especially in Detroit -- when General Motors announced in January that Obama was getting a brand-new 2009 Cadillac Presidential Limousine, the first presidential limo that did not carry a specific model name.

The Obama limo has high-tech security features that Kennedy's limo lacked.
That got me to thinking about another famous (or, perhaps more accurately, infamous) presidential limo -- one that for many years has been sitting on display, for all the world to see, at the Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn, right in the heart of Ford country -- and just five minutes from my home.
I'm referring to the 1961 Lincoln Continental 4-door convertible sedan that President John F. Kennedy was riding in on that historic / tragic day in November of 1963 when he was assassinated.
Why would Obama's new limo prompt thoughts of the Kennedy limo? Well, perhaps in part because political commentators and historians have compared Obama to Kennedy, in terms of his charisma, his popularity and his call to service. See the first armored presidential limo »
But it's also because the Kennedy limo represents a more innocent and less anxiety-ridden time in our nation's history. At the time of his assassination, Kennedy's limo had none of the high-tech features that protect Obama today -- nor was it even equipped with any of those features that have protected every other president since Kennedy.
Indeed, it wasn't until after Kennedy's assassination that the Secret Service and the limo manufacturers thought to add all of the protective armor, bulletproof glass and other safety systems that have been considered pro-forma for more than 40 years. AOL Autos: Most affordable luxury cars
Direct comparisons between the JFK limo and Obama's new ride are difficult, because General Motors and the Secret Service, citing security concerns, have been tight-lipped about the Obama limo, not offering any details -- not even about the size or type of engine that powers it.
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In January, Nicholas Trotta, the assistant director for the office of protective operations, was quoted as saying that "although many of the vehicles' security enhancements cannot be discussed, it is safe to say that this car's security and coded communications systems make it the most technologically advanced protection vehicle in the world." AOL Autos: The latest car technology
The Detroit News also reported in January that the Obama limo has five-inch- thick heavy armor, run-flat tires, bulletproof glass and a completely sealed interior designed to thwart a chemical attack. GM declined to confirm that report, although those types of protective features/systems are not uncommon for modern-day presidential limousines. AOL Autos: 10 best cars of 2009
Gazing at history
Once inside the Henry Ford Museum, in order to see the JFK limo, you walk past the 1952 Oscar Mayer Weinermobile, past the museum's displays of historic furniture and agricultural equipment, past its vintage pewter and silver collection.
And, finally, there it is -- across the aisle from a yellow-orange 1927 Bluebird school bus and a neon-lit display that pays homage to the vintage roadside drive-ins and burger joints that are part of American-highway lore (McDonald's, A&W, White Castle, etc.). AOL Autos: Best car names of all-time
The JFK limo is parked right behind the 1972 Lincoln Continental limousine that Ronald Reagan was stepping into when he was shot in 1981. (The museum's collection of presidential limos also includes Dwight Eisenhower's 1950 Lincoln "Bubbletop" convertible sedan and Franklin D. Roosevelt's 1939 Lincoln "Sunshine Special.") AOL Autos: Lincoln Continental
Many of us recall, from repeated viewings of the Zapruder-film footage of the assassination, that Kennedy's limo was midnight blue. But it's now black. In fact, it's been black since Lyndon Johnson ordered that new paint job in 1964, thinking that the midnight-blue color was too closely associated in the public mind with Kennedy's assassination.
The JFK limo actually remained part of the White House fleet until 1978 -- meaning it was in use as late as the Carter administration, although not as the primary parade vehicle. After it was retired that year, Lincoln retained possession and then donated it to the museum.
Viewing it today, as it sits surrounded by a waist-high, heavy-duty black iron fence, it definitely looks like a car that has seen some wear -- there are chips in the paint on the doors and fenders, and multiple scuffs on the bumpers. The rear passenger-side window - the one nearest to where Kennedy was sitting -- is about 80 percent lowered, allowing visitors to peer into the back seat and mentally re-visit that momentous day. "Do Not Touch," reads a small black-and-white sign affixed to the top edge of the lowered window.
Again, the JFK limo's complete lack of protective features at the time reminds us that 1963 was indeed a very different time in America.
"It didn't even have a permanent roof," says Bob Casey, the museum's curator of transportation. "It was a convertible that only had removable steel and transparent-plastic roof panels, and they were not bullet-proof. The doors weren't bullet-proof, either, and it didn't have a special protective steel plate attached to the undercarriage."
What it did have was a 430-cubic-inch V8 engine that originally delivered 300 horsepower (after JFK's assassination, it was beefed up to 350 horses) -- plus small "step-ups" and grab handles for secret service agents. It also had a heavy-duty suspension, brakes, axle and tires to accommodate extra weight.
"At the time, Lincoln had an arrangement with the government," says Casey, "where the company would provide these vehicles to the White House for a nominal lease fee, to be used as parade vehicles, and then the Secret Service would have them customized."
The JFK limo was assembled at the Lincoln plant in Wixom, Michigan, in January of 1961. Then, an Ohio customizing house, Hess and Eisenhardt, modified it by literally cutting it in half, extending it by three-and-a-half feet, re-assembling it, and reinforcing the middle section where that extra sheet metal had been added. The Ohio company made the other modifications, as well.
"That's really it?"
If that Continental would have gone to a dealership after it rolled off the line, it would have retailed for $7,347, according to the museum. The customization cost almost $200,000 on top of that.
"People will come in, look at it, do a double-take, and ask, 'That's really it? The car Kennedy was shot in?' Then they'll remark that "it doesn't look like it did that day in Dallas,'" Casey notes. "And that's true -- it doesn't. After Kennedy was assassinated, it suddenly became much more important to protect the president than to see the president.
That's when they added the permanent, armored steel top, the bulletproof glass and the armored plates on the sides. (And the black paint job.)
"And some visitors, the ones who are old enough to remember that day, do get emotional when they see that vehicle."
But despite the Secret Service's best efforts to protect the commander-in-chief, subsequent presidents still succumbed to the desire to be seen by the people. The trunk lid of the ''61 JFK limo was armored after Lyndon Johnson dented it when he clambered up onto it while campaigning, and Richard Nixon had a hole cut in the roof so he could stand up and wave to crowds, notes Casey.
As for the protective features in Obama's presidential limo - and the Secret Service being so mum on the particulars -- Casey remarks: "I can understand that. They don't want anyone who might want to harm the president to know exactly what its protective capacities are. But you can safely assume it's very heavily armored, and can withstand bombs, rocket-propelled grenades, and has filtering systems to protect the occupants from poison gasses."
And here's another sober reminder that it's not 1963 any more - or even the early '90s: "The Reagan limo we have on display, when it was retired from the White House fleet in 1992 -- that was the last presidential limousine that ever went back to the manufacturer after being retired," says Casey. "Ever since, the government has retained ownership of the presidential limousines -- because they don't want anyone else to know what kind of armor or other safety technology they've added to them